So I was reading through my old blog ...

    
    So I was reading through my old blog posts and they show that I haven't changed much. I still talk a lot about the same things. I mostly write about family and what is going on in my life. So that is when I see what I want to improve in, my goal, is expanding my thoughts. I want to start going deeper into my mind and write about more serious things. I doubt that I  will be able to but I'm going to try.
    Maybe I should write about current life issues, things that are important to the world. I see my blog as a place to vent out what I'm thinking, what I'm stressing about, but I want to change that. There are more important things in the world other than my thoughts. I know that I do think about those things but I don't really have an opinion on things that are going on in the world today. I think that is bad since I do care about those issues, but I know that I can't really do anything to help.
    My blog so far has mostly been updates. Things that go on in my head. There are a lot of other things in my head but my thoughts are so scrambled that I can only think of certain things at a time. I think what I write about also has to do with my surroundings. If I am alone in my room not working on anything but my blog I see that I think deeper about things. If I am in school listening to other people's conversations and trying to think deeper I just can't. Today is different though. I am putting more thought into this post. The room is very quiet compared to other days so it is easier to concentrate.
    I see that ideas haven't been coming easy to me lately. I have been in my own little world. I find that it is a lot harder to open my mind to more options on things to write about when I'm like this. I really do think about many things but they are not things I'm willing to share. I am a very closed person and I think that affects what I write about a lot. Maybe if I learn to open up ideas will come casually.
    I have always been a very closed person. You can know me for years but not see every side of me. It's not that I choose to act different around different people I just do. That really bothers me.
    So my goal is to open up to new ideas to write about. Going through my blog I saw that I wrote a lot about the same thing witch is mostly family, school, and myself. Hopefully I progress through the end of the year. Another goal is to expand my vocabulary. I've been trying to do that for a long time. Obviously I don't have a good strategy but I'm working on it.

" A Bad Boy Can Be Good For A girl" - Part 3

    The third part of the book was about a girl named Aviva. She was very different than the other girls in the beginning. She was into a lot of things. She was more sure of her self than the other girls. Even though she served herself to the guy "on a  silver platter." Her story didn't end up how I thought it would. It seemed like the guy really liked her. It wasn't until she told him she loved him that things started to go bad. He started to act weird around her. She didn't like it. She didn't understand why he was acting that way. How could saying "I love you" completely change the way you see someone? It doesn't make sense to me. Maybe it's because the world has evolved into a place where saying "I love you" doesn't mean anything. I don't think it actually would bother a guy if a girl said "I love you".
    Aviva was the kind of girl that was never in the "in crowd" and that didn't bother her. She had a happy life. When she became part of the "in crowd" she liked it. She never knew that it would be that way. She had people save her a seat at lunch. She had a complete different group of friends. She liked that the guy showed her off, introduce her to his friends, and took her out.
    I thought Aviva was going to be the girl to change the guy. It seemed like he actually had feelings for her. When they split up he had one of his friends to talk to Aviva, witch wasn't something he had done with the other girls. If he didn't want them then that was the end. There was no need to have a talk to say sorry. For Aviva he actually wanted to talk to her to explain why he was acting weird. He said that things were moving to fast. To Aviva it just seemed like an excuse but to me it seemed like he actually cared about her. What do you think?
    In the end you still see that the guy didn't change. There are still plenty of reasons to stay away from him.

More and More Updates

 
    I don't know why I'm thinking about this. Death. It's scary to me, thinking that one day this will all be over. I believe that there is an after life. There is something more. They say life is a test that chooses if we go to heaven or hell. I believe that. I also believe that after this life we just start all over. That kind of calms me down. It still scares me though. I don't like to think about it. I hope my death doesn't come soon. I think it would scare my family.

    I always wonder...Who would cry? Who would be happy? Who would miss me? Who would go to my funeral? Who would remember me ten years later? 

    Now I'm thinking about my high school reunion. How will everyone look? Who will be married? Who will have kids? Who will be successful? I'm looking forward to it. I've been thinking about it for the past three years. I wonder how I will end up. I wonder where I'll be in ten years. I wonder if I will be a psychologist, that's what I want to be. I wonder how many years of school I will have to take to be that. I have always wanted to be some kind of counselor. I have always liked to listen to people's issues. I think I'm good at that, though I think I have to work more on giving advice. I think it's my lack of experience with the issues they talk to me about that stops me from giving them good advice.

    I mind is just sending me different things. Now I'm thinking about my why my mom and dad are taking so long to bring my cousins Alejandra and Orlando. I know Alejandra is going to go sleep over at my house, or at least I hope so. She hasn't slept over in about three weeks. 

    Tomorrow is going to be a good day. My Mama Amparo is making Posole and almost all my family is going to come over to her house. I love family reunions. I am really close with this side of the family so it's like all my friends are coming tomorrow. I love it when we are all together. We are never bored. I have a big family so everyone always seperate themselves in about four groups. The babies almost always are together. The little ones are always together, and there are two groups of the older kids. They all have something to do. I love these kind of weekends. I know that it's going to be time to just relax and have fun with the family. 

    The thing I don't like about weekends is that I know they are only two days. Two days off of school is not enough. School is very tiring. We should have longer breaks. Especially because school is getting harder and harder. Well I'm going to wrap this up now. It's surprising how this post took me longer. I guess I was more distracted than usual.  

 

     

    

 

"A Bad Boy Can Be Good For A Girl" - Part 2

 
    The second part of the story was more interesting to me. This part was about a girl named Nicolette. She is the kind of girl that doesn't believe that the guys are supposed to be asking her out. If she wants something she goes for it. I like her attitude toward things in the beginning. She changes as soon as she starts liking the guy that broke Josie's heart. She thinks she has everything under control. She let him have everything easy. She is very independent. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She would meet him whenever he wanted and that's when she started changing. She did worry about what she wanted but she worried more about what he wanted. 

    I wonder why she gave in so easy? She had been with other guys before so of course she had experience. Was he different than the other guys? Did the other guys just let her take control? Why did she change for him? Other girls tried to let her know what people were saying about her but she just thought they were jealous. She thought that he really liked her because he talked to his friends about her. She really wanted him. She wanted him to treat her like his girlfriend, which wasn't something she worried about with other guys. She wanted his attention.

    They ended up splitting up because he took another girl to some part. When Nicolette found out she was furious. She had never felt this way for a guy. When she confronted him about it he said "We never said we couldn't see other people." During the confrontation she realized that Josie was right and that she should've stayed away from him. I'm not sure if girl's even warn eachother now. They probably just wait for the other girls to get hurt too. Do guys really change girls that much?

High School

High school. This is where you start to be more and more independent. It's where you start to look at your future in a more serious way. A lot of people change during those four years of high school. There is a lot of drama. Relationships start. Things happen.
A lot of people are nice. A lot of people are loud. A lot of people are smart. There are many different groups of people but I wouldn't call them cliques. The groups don't bother each other or say anything but you do notice that people do hang out in groups. A lot of the times you'll see the same people hanging out. I try to talk to a lot of different people but I do hang out with a lot of the same people. If I don't have plans it would be the same people; Evelyn, Sahar, Elmina, Haneen, and the guys.
Things have changed a lot since middle school wich is where I met most of them.
Evelyn. I met her in 7th grade. I don't remember exactly how we started talking but we became very close. When it was time to go to high school we were going to separate. She was going to go to Alameda High and I was going to go to Encinal High. I went to Encinal for half the year and we didn't really talk. When I moved and started going to Alameda High, we started talking again. We've stayed close until now.
Sahar. I knew who she was in middle school but I never talked to her. It wasn't until I moved to Alameda High that we started talking and we became very close. She is one of my closest friends. I tell her almost everything. Hahaha.
Elmina. I didn't really start talking to her until I moved to Alameda High too.
Haneen. I met her in middle school. We talked a little but not much. We talked a lot last year, more than this year.
Another one of my closest friends is Alyssa. I met her in 7th grade and I remember the first day I talked to her. It was so weird. I can say that she didn't really want to talk to me when we first met. That changed. We were really close 7th and 8th grade. When I went to Encinal I still talked to her a lot. When I first came to Alameda High I would hang out with her a lot. Then we wouldn't really hangout much but I still considered her one of my best friends. We hangout more this year and I hope it stays that way.
Yvonne. The first time I talked to her I think it was 8th grade. I had to ask her a really dumb question for one of my friends but we didn't really hangout until last year. We were really close. Almost everyday it was just her and me at lunch. We are still close, we just don't talk as much as before.
Natalie. I met her in 7th grade with Alyssa. At the time her and Alyssa weren't that close yet. I would tell her everything. After she was close with Alyssa we all started to hang out together. When I was at Encinal we just said hi once in a while but we didn't talk much. Last year we didn't talk much either. This year though, we talk a lot. I started telling her everything again.
Hong. I met her in 7th grade. We stopped talking when I went to Encinal but a soon as I moved to Alameda High we started talking again. I don't remember exactly how we met but we got along from the beginning.
Writing this I see why I grew apart from some of my closest friends from middle school. We all changed. I'm glad we are still close though. I think if I had stayed at Encinal High I wouldn't be talking to all these girls who I'm so close to. I wouldn't mind making new friends but I really don't want to lose the friends I already have.

"A Bad Boy Can Be good For A Girl" -Part 1

So the first part of the book was good. It shows how high school and a lot of relationships are. The first part of the book talks about a girl named Josie. Josie is a freshman in high school and is not very experienced with guys. A senior guy comes along and Josie thinks she really likes him and that he really like her. She loves the way he makes her feel. The guy of course was only after one thing and after Josie didn't give it to him he didn't want to be with her anymore. After that happens Josie writes a note in the back of a book in her school library warning all the girls from her school not to mess with that guy.
So I think Josie did right. I don't understand why she got so into him and yet gave him nothing though. Was she trying to prove to herself that he really liked her? She got her feelings hurt and now she knows better. I think a lot of guys are like this guy now a days. You always think they are after one thing and most of the time you're right. Right now I think that all guys are the same and I'll keep thinking that until one guy comes along to prove me wrong. Yes there are still really nice guys out there but they are really hard to find.
I really like Josie's character. I think that she knows what not to do. I know that what she was going to do wasn't really bad but she knew she didn't want it and she knew how to stop it even if it meant that the guy wouldn't like her anymore. She shows how she knows what she wants. I wonder if a year later she was in this situation, what would she do? Wouold she back away? Maybe things went down like this beacause she was really young. I hope that the next part of the book is this interesting.

Thoughts on My 16th Birthday

So my birthday is next Tuesday. I'm turning sixteen witch means I only have two more years to make the biggest decisions of my life. It scares me to think of myself being on my own. Those two years are going to go by really fast and I am going to miss being a kid again. I wonder what my parents are thinking about this. I'm sure they realize that the day is coming. I wonder if they are looking forward to it. I have no idea what to expect. I know they love me but I wonder if they are going to be happy when I'm gone. Of course after I leave they still have my brother and sister to deal with.
I still have no idea what I am going to do after High School. I haven't made up my mind on what I want to study or where I am going to go. I don't want to go to college straight out of High School. I think that I will take a year for myself before I go back to school. My mom doesn't like that idea.I think I want to go out and have fun before starting over again. I know that College is going to be harder if I wait too long but I'm not taking a big break. Just long enough to make myself believe that I'm ready and that I can handle it.

Like I said a big decision to make in two years. I don't know if I will be ready to go when that time comes. I have always been an independent person. I know how to take care of myself. I don't like thinking about this. My cousins don't like the idea of me going anywhere far. I don't want to be far form them either. I want to stay close to my family.
I haven't planned anything to celebrate my birthday. Again I waited to long. It's too late to plan anything big. I don't think I'm even going to celebrate it. I don't know when I will celebrate a birthday like I want. Probably not until I get a job and live on my own. I don't really mind not celebrating my birthday big. As long as I am with my family everything is all good. I love spending time with them. When I'm with them I am never bored. I am always laughing. I am always happy. They make my day.
Update: I have a new little cousin who was born two days ago. I can't wait to see her. I already saw a picture but that doesn't compare to holding her. I don't know when I'll be able to see her though since she lives in San Jose and we never go visit because they always come down here. Hopefully my mom and dad will take me to see her this weekend. It would make me really happy. My cousins aren't too happy about it since the girl doesn't have the same dad as them. The girl's dad is my auntie's current boyfriend who my cousins don't really get along with. Right know they don't want to have anything to do with the new baby girl. I understand that the don't like her dad but it's not the baby's fault. Hopefully later on the realize that what they are thinking is not good. I know that I am going to love that girl even if I dislike her dad. She doesn't deserve any of the blame. I am going to try and convince them to thing the same but I don't know how long it will take.