The First of Many

Finally Back on Blogger!!!! I promised someone that I would post and I never got a chance until now. I don't know what happened to my four day weekend. It was pretty chill over all. I still have one more day but I don't have anything planned.
He keeps calling but I decided not to answer. I'm definately not trying to get in trouble because of him this month. Last month I used up more than 2,300 minutes because of him and I'm not going to do that again. I'm not trying to get my phone taken away.
Things are going pretty well with him. I realized that I need yhim in my life more than I thought I would. Even though we are not officially together it still feels like we are because we still talk so much. I like it but if we are going to keep talking like this there was no point in breaking up. Well now I see what he means. I think that there actually is a reason why I left him. It was because calling him a BOYFRIEND causes me to change the way I talk to him. He doesn't notice it but I do. Also When we were together I feared saying some things because I thought there would be bad consequences but now that we are "not together" I can say whatever I want and it will not change a thing.
I think I like it better this way. I know I don't want to let him go again. This time I want him to stay in my life. Maybe if he lived closer things would be different. Actually I'm really sure that things would be different if he was here. He doesn't get how hard it is for me to tell him that we are not going to be "officially together" anymore. I really want to be but not long-distance. Maybe is he moves or maybe after high school. I don't know. Hopefully we figure things out before I lose him again because I really don't want that to happen.

Final Post of the 2010 School Year

     In this past year my writing changed a lot. My way of thinking improved. This blog helped me write more naturally. My thoughts became easier to express in writing. I do realize though, that my writings wouldn't change the world. The first topic I ever wanted to write about was memories. Now I'm realizing that I wasn't really writing about memories. If I look back at my blog I see that I'm making memories for the furture. I could look back on my blog and see how I thought, or how I felt at the time I was writing the posts. 

    One of my favorite posts was the one I wrote about the actual memories. The reason why this is one of my favorite posts is because I went more in depth than any other piece of writing I had done before this. I could say that this post was one of the more serious pieces of work that I had ever done. I think this was where I started taking writing more seriously.On this post I realized that I work better when I'm alone. I wrote this post when I was home alone. I guess to write things more in depth I need to be alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I need to be around people to actually think of something to write about. I guess the topics I write about depend on the environment I'm in when I'm writing. I'm sure that this happens to many people. This post shows me how I was thinking back then in the beginning of the year. My cousins death was still so present with me. Even though it has been two years. This post reminds me that I was actually planning to dedicate my whole blog to him. I soon realized though that my memories of him and I weren't c;ear enough to describe. They were also very private. When it was time for the next post I realized that I didn't choose such a good topic for myself since I'm not a very open person. I like to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. My memories aren't so private but it is very hard for me to open up to just anyone. My Memories post reminds me of all the things I thought I could share. One of my least favortie posts was this one because it didn't have a clear topic. I kept jumping around because I was thinking about so many things at once. This post shows how I still have much to learn about writing. I actually found more posts that have the same problem. I don't make it clear what I am actually writing about. I don't even think I have an actual topic. These were just posts to say what was on my mind. There was no actually thesis. There was no actual point I was trying to make. This post shows me that I have to work on my writing skills quite a bit. Sometimes it is necessary to be corrected. This blog was a place where we could write about whatever we wanted but if we write about whatever we want then how are we being corrected. Some people don't take this assignment seriously. How will those people know if they are getting better at writinf. Will they just have to evaluate themselves?

    Having a blog has changed the way I think. I think about things more deeply. If I find something interesting I look back at it and see if I can make a post out of it. Like this post, I wrote after reading a book about slavery. I didn't put in many things from the book. This post was more about what I thought about the topic in general. From the blog it's hard for me to tell if I'm developing as a writer. I might think I got better at writing but other people might not. One thing I know for sure is that the blog made writing easier for me. Since I wasn't good at writing before I didn't like it, or maybe I wasn't good at it because I didn't like it? Well whatever the reason was, that all has changed. Since writing comes more naturally now, I don't really have a problem with it. I'm not carzy about it yet either. I'm not crazy enough about it to spend weeks writing a book. What I write about in my bog is usually stuff that goes on in my life or stuff I think about at the moment I write the post. This makes it easier. I'm pretty sure that is this blog was based on having to respond to writing prompts, I wouldn't be doing so well. As soon as someone tells you what to write about, that is where the writer's block begins. Having this blog has showed me that if you don't have someone telling you what to write about then writting can actually be cool. Since we started this assingnment I feel more comfortable with the way I write and I don't mind if other people read my work. Before I used to feel like other people were so much better than me in writing that I wouldn't want anyone to see my work. Now I feel more confident and I don't mind other people read it. The one thind I wish I had more of on my blog is coments. I think that if i had more coments I can see how bad or how well I'm doing. A little feedback would help my develop more as a writer.

    Although writing was never really been my thing I feel like that is slowly changing because of this blog. I'm willing to try my best to improve every year. This year my blog was just a place to vent out my thoughts. Next year I think setting goals for myself would be a good idea. Maybe if I planned out my blogs and actually put more time and effort into them then I could be even better. This being my last blog of my 2010 school year I'm happy to say that I feel accomplished. I learned a lot about myself and I have developed quite a bit in my writing. I think I'm prepared for what Junior year will bring.

Planet Pregnancy - Final Book Review

    Planet Pregnancy by Linda Oatman High has been a great book. I actually finished really early. I couldn't put it down. It is a story that many girls now a days can relate to. Before teenage pregnancies were not popular around the world now it is not such and uncommon thing. I don't think I could do what Sahara did. She kept her pregnancy a secret from everybody for a very long time. I would've needed to talk to someone about it.

    Sahara is a normal high school girl. She is full of life. One day she finds out that she is pregnant and her world turns upside down. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know who to tell. The first few months of her pregnancy is a complete blur to her. In school she is no longer that happy girl she used to be. At home she tries not to be noticed. Since the boy she was with is not someone she could rely on she has to find a way to tell her mother. Sahara changes a lot in the book. You see her mature. You see her get shaped into what a mom should be. She has to make a big decision, and looking back at the ending, I think she made the right choice.

    I think this book is for teenagers. It shows how a regular girl dealt with her problem. Maybe other teenage girls can learn form her. I think this is for teenage girls because this a story of a teenage pregnancy written in a teenage point of view.

    The main character, Sahara, is who I found the most interesting. She developed and changed her views throughout the book, witch is what made her inspiring to me. She made a bad choice in the book, and she realized that, but there few options for her to choose from. In the beginning of the book, Sahara was "Miss social butterfly," and after she found out that she was pregnant, her world turned upside down. She did not want to go out in public, she was confused, she was scared, she was scared. when she first found out that she was pregnant she was thinking that getting rid of the baby was the only way out. Thank god that she did not end up doing that. I think that because of the baby she grew up as a person. She was no longer the teenage girl she was before she got pregnant.

    After a few months of her pregnancy she realizes that she cannot hide the pregnancy much longer. She finally decides to tell her mom that she is pregnant. Although she shows more maturity with that, she does not tell her the complete truth and that shows that she still has some growing up to do. We see all the things she thinks about during her pregnancy. One of the main questions she asks herself is what will people think. She knew that there were other teenage moms out there but she never thought that she would be one of them. Her sort of perfect life turned into hell. I think sahara shows that she is becoming independent throughout the book. She spends a lto more time by herself. She thinks really deeply about what she want in her life. she realizes that she doesn't have many people to depend on.She has her best friend Emma and her mother, but nobody else. She is going to be a single mom just like her own mother was for a while. The soon to be father, sahara's ex-boyfriend, does not believe he is the father. sahara doesn't even want to be with him. She just tried to let him know he was the father, if he didn't belive her there was nothing she could do anymore.I think that when she realizes that her ex-boyfriend is not going to support her, it reminds her a lot of her mom and dad's relationship and how it fell apart.

    The author may have had many reasons to write this book but I think that her main reason was to tell the story of a teenage pregnancy. A lot of teenage pregnancies are not planned and unwanted. In Sahara's case it starts out as many other teenage pregnancies, unwanted. This story ends on a good note. This shows that teenage pregnancies aren't always bad. Although most teenage girls don't want to get pregnant, there are those unusual few that really want to get pregnant. In the beginning of the book Sahara doesn't want to have a baby and her only thought was to get rid of it. You see a real change in her torwards the end of the book.

I just want to build a canopy over my baby and keep it from danger

 

   

     This shows how Sahara is maturing. It shows that she is ready to be a mom. She is thinking like a mom.When it comes to the final day when she actually has the baby she realizes that her baby, Grace, will be the love of her life.

              I'm crying and laughing at the same time....I'm in total love

     Her new baby is going to definately be one of the greatest things that will ever come into her life. I wonder if all new moms feel this way.

    I would have to say the one weakness about the book was that it had a bad ending. It said something about her Sahara's mom waiting at the curb when Sahara walked out of the hospital. I wish the book told a little more about the life of Sahara after the birth of Grace. In my opinion, a lot of books have this same problem. They leave the reader wanting to know more. Sometimes they don't write a sequel or anything, they just leave the readers wondering and imagining ther own endings. I know somwhere torwards the end of the book Sahara says

                 ...and I know everything will be fine...

    That makes me imagine a lot of endings. Everything could be fine for now but I would've really liked to know a little bit more. The ending left me with a lot of questions. Does she end up with her ex-boyfriend Dustin? Does her mom treaat her the same? What does Emma reply to Sahara's txt message? Does Sahara tell her dad about his new grandaughter? These questions were left unanswered so I think of the book as incomplete.

    Other than the ending, the rest of the book was great. As I said before, I couldn't put it down. The book was easy to read and understand. I would recommend this book to all teenage girls. These kinds of things can happen to anyone so why not see what to expect. This book shows what a general teenager does when she finds out she is pregnant at 16. There are a lot more things that make Planet Pregnancy a good book. Check it out.

Planet Pregnancy by Linda Oatman High - Part 3

     In the third and final part of Planet Pregnancy by Linda Oatman High, you see a complete change of heart in Sahara that you can't really understand. In the beginning of the book, all she was thinking about doing was getting rid of the baby. Well she changed her mind. Sometimes I think "what if I was in that situation? what would I do?" Well I thought about it and at first I said to myself that I would never get rid of a baby. I thought everyone deserves a chance to live, but then I thought about it more deeply. What if you weren't ready to raise a child and you knew you had no one to stand by you? I know I would be so scared. This to me is a very difficult situation that Sahara shouldn't have felt the need to deal with alone. After she thought about th situation she decided to tell her mom because she wasn't going to be able to hide the baby much longer. Her mother, like any other mother I know, freaked out. Then Sahara felt better with herself. She knew that her mom would not be happy, but she also knew that her mom wasn't going to put her out on the street in that condition. I think she should've done this from the beginnig, but of course she neede time to think. torwards the very end of the book Sahara's feelings torward the baby change.

I just want to build a canopy over my baby and keep it from danger.

     This shows that she is beginning to care for the baby. She wan'ts the baby to be fine. She is starting to feel like any other mother, who is ready to have a child, should feel. I think she starts to feel this way because now her pregnancy is not a secret. I think telling her mother made her feel that it didn't matter what anybody else thought. Because she didn't have to hide anything anymore, she thought more openly about the situation.

I'm laughing and crying at the same time............I'm in total love.

     Sahara says this after she gives birth. I think this shows that everything is going to be fine and that she made the right choice. I'm not saying that teen pregnancies always turn out this way but this was a appy ending. In this situation, by making one big mistake Sahara gained a lot. She matured and thought life through. She realized that Grace ( her new daughter) was one of the best things that happened to her. I would want my experience with my first child to be like this. The only thing I would change is the age. I would like to wait a while before I decide to become a mom.

Summer

    School is almost over. A couple more weeks and we are out. I still have no plans for summer except going camping with some of my family.
    It is going to be my second time going camping and I hope I have more fun than last time. Last time I didn't even get to go in the water because I was feeling sick. I was on the boat watching the smallest kids while everyone else was swimming. I didn't mind at the time because I wasn't feeling good but looking back, I missed out on a lot of things. I didn't get to ride the sea doos. I wasn't really thinking about that at the time but now I'm mad. I did have fun but I missed out on a lot. I loved being with my family, especially because it's the side of the family that I don't get to see a lot. I loved hanging out with them for a week. I wish we stayed longer.
    The only thing I wish would change would be to stay just a little bit longer. I don't remember exactly where this lake is but it's a beautiful lake. I really want to go. My cousins are already getting prepared for the trip. Last year not everyone in the family went. This year supposedely everyone is going so it's going t obe even better. The only people that are not going are my parents and my grandparents.

    The reason why my parents aren't going is because my mom has never been much of an outdoor person. I most definately didn't get that from her. The only thing I don't like about being outdoors is bugs. Here where I live that is not a problem so I love being outside. Another thing my mom doesn't like about going camping is that everyone goes swimming. To me it seems like she is scared of the water because she doesn't know how to swim. I don't know how to swim either but I'm not scared of the water. My goal for this summer is learning how to swim.

    This summer is going to be fun but not exactly what I wanted it to be. I was really looking forward to going to Mexico this summer but it seems like that is not going to happen. Time goes  by so fats. I can't believe it has already been two years since I went to Mexico. I love going to Mexico. Over there I am basically free. It may be a little dangerous but since it's my parents vacation too, they are a little less strict. They have there time to relax and I have my time to go out. We used to go to Mexico to see my great granmother, but now that she is back living with us, I don't know when we will go to Mexico again. I hope that we go soon because we do have other family over there that I miss.

    After this summer, I only have one more summer until I graduate. Time goes by so fast!!!

Rules of Love

    In relationships today couples aren't very conservative. They can tell eachother anything. They call eachother a lot of names, good and bad, and they are not as respectful towards each other like they were before. The line between what nice guys do and don't do is hard to see. One thing would be that nice guys do not hit girls. However I think that the line between what nice girls do and don't do is different. I think that because a lot of the drama in a relationship is directed to the girl, the reactions of the girls should be tolerated a little more than the guys. In a lot of relationships it is the guy that starts and causes a lot of the arguments so whatever the girl decides to do is understandable. Another thing that nice guys don't do is cheat. If a guy does not want to be with the girl anymore then why cheat, why not just break up. Also nice guys do not disrespect their girlfriends parents. This would also apply for a girl.
    Different rules are set within different relationships and depending on how badly the rule is broken, there are different consequences. Some people just drop the situation because they don't want big arguments. In other relationships one mistake and the relationship is over. I think that consequences ddepend on mutual tolerance.
    It is not clear where the rules come from.I think it is just morals. It is just how you are taught to behave. Although that is not always the answer because sometimes even if you know something is not right, you would still do it. I guess it would depend on the individual. Not all people live by the same rules therefore I don't think there are actual rules set for love. Different people like different things. Although people like different things I think everyone would like respect.

Slavery

    Slavery. It is something that no matter how hard we try, doesn't seem to disappear. There are more slaves in the world now, than ever before. The only difference about slavery now is that it's not all out in the open like before. There are organizations around the world trying to stop slavery but it doesn't seem to help. In the TED talk we watched a while back, Kevin Bales raised a good question. I'm not sure exactly what he said but it was something like, "if we don't have the power to free slaves then are we free?". At first I was really confused by this question.
    I believe we are free in most things but not in every aspect of life. We only have certain freedoms. Of course are freedoms are limited, or else there would be no structure in the world. Some things are a little too over the top though. Before if you were born a slave then you served your whole life as a slave. Now many of the horrible people who own slaves think of the slaves as disposable. It is scary to think that a person can actually be used like that. Even though I know that this actually happens I would like to believe that it doesn't. Would that be considered naive? I don't like to hear the troubles of all the other people in the world. It's not because I don't care(because I do), it's because I think that there is nothing I can do about it. It makes me feel so sad that many people just watch as bad things happen to others. Why is it so hard to get rid of something like this.
    I know that people know that slavery is still going on, I'm pretty sure they know where it is going on too, so why can't they stop it? For slave holders it is easy money. The slaves are cheap and "disposable" so they don't even bother keeping them healthy. They don't care how long they live or if they die because they are easy to replace. You can actually replace a life? What's next? Slavery has been going on for so long now that it's probably too big of a thing that people probably think it's a waste of time to try and stop it. I know that there are people out there who are actually fighting to stop slavery but they haven't gone very far. I wonder if it is even possible to stop slavery after it has expanded to this extent. What can we do? Is there anything we can do? These questions don't seem to have answers.
    I think that to stop slavery there are going to be a lot of processes to go through. After something has been let go so far it's hard to stop it I guess. Has Slavery gained so much power? When I wake up in the morning I don't wake up thinking that I will get beat or tortured or anything like that. I wake up happy not worrying at all about what is going to happen. We lead a worry free life while as we speak thousands of people are getting beaten, people are dying, or getting tortured.When will this end?

Planet Pregancy by Linda Oatman High - Part 1

    Planet Pregnancy by Linda Oatman High is a book about something that has been happening a lot lately in the world. Teenage pregnancy. Sahara is only sixteen when she finds out she is pregnant.  Her world was turned upside down. Before she was "Miss social butterfly" now she "has crept into a cocoon". She used to ba happy all the time now it's the complete opposite. She doesn't feel like talking to anybody. She is completely confused. It didn't bother her when other people went through these things. She was happy that she wasn't going throught that. Now that it's her she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't care what she looks like anymore but she does wonder what people say about her.
    Being Pregnant at 16 is not something out of the ordinary these days. Maybe it happens by accident but it happens all the time. I wonder if all pregnant 16 year olds feel as down as Sahara. Sahara didn't want to tell anybody. Even though she knew that there were other people going through the same thing she didn't want this thing to happen to her.
    "The Dixie Queen will never be seen again. She's dead." I have no idea why she is feeling this bad. She made a choice and now she is having to deal with one of the consequences. The really bad thing is that she is not looking for support from anyone. She doesn't want to tell anybody, not even her best friend Ema. I think if I was acting all down like her everybody would immediately know that something was going on. Why hasn't anybody noticed? If she is usually so alive and happy then why hasn't anyone realized that she was acting different.
    "There's no free guidance in this situation. No easy answers. It's like cancer: something growing without my permission". I think the way Sahara is thinking about this is sick. She is comparing a child that's growing inside of her, to cancer. Maybe she should've thought things through a little more. Now she doesn't even want to talk to anyone about it because she is scared. She is scared of what they might say. Something I think that is also putting her down is thew fact that she doesn't really like the guy. I think that was her first mistake. I wonder who she'll end up talking to about her pregnancy. She can't hide it forever.

"A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks - Final Book Review

    "A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks is a true love story. The book is very confusing at first. You really don't know how someone can go from hating to falling in love in so little time. Well it wasn't really hating it was disliking that this girl was so nice. People disliked that she 3was so polite to them even when they were mean to her. No one really knew what her reasons were for being so happy all the time and nobody ever really bothered to ask either.

    Landon was a "bad" boy. He didn't really care what kind of trouble he got into. He wasn't very close to his father. It even seemed like he didn't like his father. His dad lived in Washington and only came by once in a while to visit Landon and his mother.I don't know why his father decided to make Landon grow up this way. To Landon his father was a little like a stranger. His father had a choice. Maybe if his father was there for him when he was little he wouldn't be such a bad kid, but then again if he wasn't such a bad kid he wouldn't have met Jamie.

    Jamie on the other hand was a very smart girl. Her father was a minister. Her mother died giving birth to her. She was as devoted to god as much as her father was. Later in the story you read that there were many reasons why Jamie should be upset and yet she was always happy. She always said that God had a plan for everybody. I'm guessing she knew what her plan was.

    When Landon first asked Jamie for help on his lines for the play, she warned him, "...promise that you won't fall in love with me...". He took it as a joke then. Then he thought he could never fall in love with a girl like Jamie. Somehow she knew he would. She used to tell him that she would pray for him. Later you find out that she didn't just wish him well. She prayed for him in different ways.

    The part of the book that was really sad for me was the part when she tells Landon that she is sick. At first Landon didn't know what she meant, he was thinking she meant something like a cold. He was wrong. When Jamie told him that she had Leukemia all Landon was thinking was,"...why didn't you tell me...". At first I didn't understand if he was saying that because he thought she was a waste of time or because maybe if she had told him sooner he could have done something to help her. I didn't understand at first why she would hide something like this. That's why she told him not to fall in love with her. Later it was clear that she didn't say anything because she didn't want people treating her different. Maybe if people knew though she would've treated her better. When the People in school found out what Jamie had, they all felt guilty. Jamie didn't know how much time she had left to live. That really scared Landon. He didn't know what to do. I wouldn't know either. Knowing that one of your loved ones is going to die and you can't do anything about it, it's so stressing. You just watch them day after day trying to help them but you see them getting worse. All you can do is let them go happy. You need to help them enjoy that last minutes or hours or days or weeks or months of their lives.

    What would you rather do? See them in pain day after day trying to keep them alive of let them die and rid them of all the pain. I have never been in a situation like this and I really hope I don't ever have to be in one. I wouldn't know what to do. I would be devastated. I only remember a few deaths in my family and there was nothing anyone could do to save them. There was no way to help them live longer either. Landon found a way to help Jamie. He was willing to do anything for her. In order to get the help and medication Jamie needed Landon needed to ask his father for help. It was something that Landon wouldn't ever really want to do but he did it for Jamie. She brought them closer. Even when Jamie was in really bad conditions she would find strength to talk to Landon. She would tell him not to worry. She told him that he was an Angel sent from god that brought her happiness. She told him that he changed her life.

    When Landon was listening to her all he wanted to do was cry. He always felt like there was something else he could do. As soon as he realized what that thing was, he didn't hesitate at all. He asked her to marry him. She of course said yes. Both Landon's parents and Jamie's father thought Landon was making a mistake. It wasn't that they didn't want him to marry Jamie it was that they felt that he was doing it just because she was going to die. Landon wasn't thinking that way at all. He was thinking that he really loved her and there would not be anyone else for him in the world as good as her. I think he made the right decision. In marriage he would form an infinite bond with Jamie that no one could break. His memories of her would stay strong. The ring on his finger would remind him of her every time he looked at. The ring would remind him of the most beautiful thing that happened to him. It would show him that no one could ever compare to Jamie.

    I loved how Nicholas Sparks incorporated the title into the book. The "...walk to remember" was when Jamie was walking down the aisle in church the day her and Landon got married. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves a good love story. This was my first time reading this book but I'm sure it won't be my last.

"A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks Part - 3 Review

    The third and final part of "A Walk To Remember" great. I loved the way things turned out, except the part when Jamie dies. I loved that a seventeen year old guy had his eyes opened by true love. He realized soon enough that he needed her. He did everything to try and save her. All he could do was help her stay alive longer and try to make her feel alive. He knew that there was nothing he could do to prevent her from passing away. He tried everything he could. Landon and his father weren't very close. He didn't like asking his father for anything. When Landon found out that Jamie was sick he went actually went and asked his father for help. Of course he didn't do it right away because his pride got in the way.
    Jamie did so much for Landon. She opened his eyes to the meaning of life. She helped him figure out exactly what he wanted in life. She even brought Landon and his father together. Landon realized this too I think. It didn't take long for him to understand that what he wanted with Jamie was a lot different then what he wanted with other girls.
    This is a situation that is not likely to happen to people at the age of seventeen. Boys have really changed over the years. They no longer care about anything else but looks. Many of them do care and look deeper into people but those are hard to find now a days. Jamie opened Landon's eyes to look deeper. He learned to understand why she is how she is.
    The part when Landon asked Jamie to marry him made my eyes watery. Jamie's father and Landon's parents thought that Landon was just going to marry Jamie to make her happy. They kept telling him that he didn't have to do it. He knew exactly why he was doing it. He truly loved Jamie. I think he just wanted to make a really strong bond between them before she moved on. I think he wanted something strong to bond them even after she was gone. I like how Nicholas Sparks put the title of the book in the story. The walk to remember was when Jamie walked down the aisle in the church on her wedding day. It was beautiful.
    I would recommend this book to anyone who loves love stories.

Schindler's List

 
    Schindler's list was a very good movie. The fact that Oskar Schindler saw himself as a criminal while everybody else saw him as a very good person, really got me thinking. The Holocaust was not a time of hope and yet Oskar brought that to people. The Holocaust will always be remembered. It is set as an example of what we should not let happen again. The hardest part for me to watch was when the mothers were being seperated from their children. Watching yur children being taken away from you and not being able to do anything about it has to be the worst thing in the world. It wasn't like they had any hope that they would be reunited. They knew that once they were taken away, they were gone forever.

    I wish I knew what was the main reason for Schindler to make Jews work for him in the first place. Was it because he knew what was going to happen to them otherwise or for his own profit? Throughout the movie you see that Oskar became a very well known person. He knew who to become friends with. The most powerfull. I think Amon Goeth was truly a crazy man. Maybe he heard voices or something. The fact that  he enjoyed killing people was really disturbing. I think he had feelings for his made Helen. She was a Jew and I think that really bothered him. I don't think he could ever admit that thought to himself.

    The Holocaust is something that could happen again. I wonder what would've happened to the rest of the world if Hitler had gone any further with what he wanted. Genocide was an idea that the world was sort of new to. I don't think anyone wanted to believe it. I guess that when the Holocaust started everyone thought it would be quick because things like this had happened before. No one was really taking it seriously because they probably thought this time would be just like the others. Only certain people knew it would be different. I still don't understand how it ended. I'm sure we talked about it in class but I don't remember. Did it happen all of a sudden? Was ending the war that easy? If it was then why would there be so many wars in the world? What is wrong with the human race? I don't think we were put on this Earth to fight.

    History often repeats itself. The Holocaust will not be forgotten. It's really hard to believe that this didn't happen too long ago. I don't think things will get this extreme in the times to come. I guess we could say we are more educated and less naive. We will be more prepared if things get too out of hand. We have been warned. I don't know what else we could do but use the Holocaust as an example of what not to do. Some Holocaust survivors are still alive to share their story but pretty soon we will have to be the ones to pass down the story.

    

"A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks - Parts 1 & 2 Review

 
       "A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks started out a little boring. The book does really good in setting up the story but I didn't like that it took so long to get to the actual story of hoe Landon fell in love with Jamie. I guess the two beginning parts actually had a lot to do with the story now that I reall think about it. Landon and Jamie live in a small town where everyone knows eachother. Landon's parents and Jamie's dad don't really have a nice history together.

    So it all started when Landon decided to take drama senior year. Jamie was in his class. The first day in that class Jamie got up off her seat to wave hello to everybody and she gave Landon a smile that made him actually look at her. He said that day he saw that she looked nicer, not prettier but nicer.

    Jamie was a very quiet girl and she didn't really have any friends. She was a very spiritual person since her father was a minister. Everyone at school made fun of her, even Landon. The teachers adored her though. Landon had never really talked to her even though they have been going to school together since kindergarden.

    So Landon first started talking to her because he needed help on his lines for the play. If he would've never decided to take drama that year then this story would've never been told. So when he first asked Jamie for help she said "Don't fall in love with me Landon", of course Landon took it as a joke because at that moment he would've never even thought of her as a close friend. Well somehow Jamie knew it would happen. I have no idea how. Maybe she had liked Landon for a very long time already. It seems kind of creepy tough, that she knew he would fall in love with her.

    Well the more time Landon and Jamie spent together the more he realized that she was just like any other person he knew. He had just never wanted to give her a chance. If he would've never taken drama he would've never even looked at Jamie twice. 
    Well a lot of guys are like that now a days. They base their feelings on appearences. Well at least teenage boys. Jamie was a very sweet and inoccent girl that started changing Landon. Landon didn't understand what was happening. He didn't understand how it was happening. He hadn't really takled to Jamie in years or something like that then suddenly she was changing him. He said that she was making look at life differently.

    When the time for the homecoming dance came along Landon didn't have a date. Jamie was his last option. I thought that was so messed up. She was his last option, that was the only reason why he asked her. He didn't want to show up at the dance without a date. Their relationship didn't start off as well as it could've but I hope Landon starts seeing Jamie for what she is like not for what she seems like.

    My opinion for the beginning of the book is very general since there hasn't been a lot to say about Jamie and Landons relationship. The plot is good but I can't wait to see how Jamie and Landon end up.Compared to the movie the book sets things up slowly. I wish they would've put a little more of the book into the story. I would've liked to see a little bit more of the Jamie in the book, in the movie. Landon also changed in the movie. He seems a lot meaner. Overall I liked both the book and the movie. Nicholas Sparks is a great author and I plan to read a lot more books from him after I finish this book. 

So I was reading through my old blog ...

    
    So I was reading through my old blog posts and they show that I haven't changed much. I still talk a lot about the same things. I mostly write about family and what is going on in my life. So that is when I see what I want to improve in, my goal, is expanding my thoughts. I want to start going deeper into my mind and write about more serious things. I doubt that I  will be able to but I'm going to try.
    Maybe I should write about current life issues, things that are important to the world. I see my blog as a place to vent out what I'm thinking, what I'm stressing about, but I want to change that. There are more important things in the world other than my thoughts. I know that I do think about those things but I don't really have an opinion on things that are going on in the world today. I think that is bad since I do care about those issues, but I know that I can't really do anything to help.
    My blog so far has mostly been updates. Things that go on in my head. There are a lot of other things in my head but my thoughts are so scrambled that I can only think of certain things at a time. I think what I write about also has to do with my surroundings. If I am alone in my room not working on anything but my blog I see that I think deeper about things. If I am in school listening to other people's conversations and trying to think deeper I just can't. Today is different though. I am putting more thought into this post. The room is very quiet compared to other days so it is easier to concentrate.
    I see that ideas haven't been coming easy to me lately. I have been in my own little world. I find that it is a lot harder to open my mind to more options on things to write about when I'm like this. I really do think about many things but they are not things I'm willing to share. I am a very closed person and I think that affects what I write about a lot. Maybe if I learn to open up ideas will come casually.
    I have always been a very closed person. You can know me for years but not see every side of me. It's not that I choose to act different around different people I just do. That really bothers me.
    So my goal is to open up to new ideas to write about. Going through my blog I saw that I wrote a lot about the same thing witch is mostly family, school, and myself. Hopefully I progress through the end of the year. Another goal is to expand my vocabulary. I've been trying to do that for a long time. Obviously I don't have a good strategy but I'm working on it.

" A Bad Boy Can Be Good For A girl" - Part 3

    The third part of the book was about a girl named Aviva. She was very different than the other girls in the beginning. She was into a lot of things. She was more sure of her self than the other girls. Even though she served herself to the guy "on a  silver platter." Her story didn't end up how I thought it would. It seemed like the guy really liked her. It wasn't until she told him she loved him that things started to go bad. He started to act weird around her. She didn't like it. She didn't understand why he was acting that way. How could saying "I love you" completely change the way you see someone? It doesn't make sense to me. Maybe it's because the world has evolved into a place where saying "I love you" doesn't mean anything. I don't think it actually would bother a guy if a girl said "I love you".
    Aviva was the kind of girl that was never in the "in crowd" and that didn't bother her. She had a happy life. When she became part of the "in crowd" she liked it. She never knew that it would be that way. She had people save her a seat at lunch. She had a complete different group of friends. She liked that the guy showed her off, introduce her to his friends, and took her out.
    I thought Aviva was going to be the girl to change the guy. It seemed like he actually had feelings for her. When they split up he had one of his friends to talk to Aviva, witch wasn't something he had done with the other girls. If he didn't want them then that was the end. There was no need to have a talk to say sorry. For Aviva he actually wanted to talk to her to explain why he was acting weird. He said that things were moving to fast. To Aviva it just seemed like an excuse but to me it seemed like he actually cared about her. What do you think?
    In the end you still see that the guy didn't change. There are still plenty of reasons to stay away from him.

More and More Updates

 
    I don't know why I'm thinking about this. Death. It's scary to me, thinking that one day this will all be over. I believe that there is an after life. There is something more. They say life is a test that chooses if we go to heaven or hell. I believe that. I also believe that after this life we just start all over. That kind of calms me down. It still scares me though. I don't like to think about it. I hope my death doesn't come soon. I think it would scare my family.

    I always wonder...Who would cry? Who would be happy? Who would miss me? Who would go to my funeral? Who would remember me ten years later? 

    Now I'm thinking about my high school reunion. How will everyone look? Who will be married? Who will have kids? Who will be successful? I'm looking forward to it. I've been thinking about it for the past three years. I wonder how I will end up. I wonder where I'll be in ten years. I wonder if I will be a psychologist, that's what I want to be. I wonder how many years of school I will have to take to be that. I have always wanted to be some kind of counselor. I have always liked to listen to people's issues. I think I'm good at that, though I think I have to work more on giving advice. I think it's my lack of experience with the issues they talk to me about that stops me from giving them good advice.

    I mind is just sending me different things. Now I'm thinking about my why my mom and dad are taking so long to bring my cousins Alejandra and Orlando. I know Alejandra is going to go sleep over at my house, or at least I hope so. She hasn't slept over in about three weeks. 

    Tomorrow is going to be a good day. My Mama Amparo is making Posole and almost all my family is going to come over to her house. I love family reunions. I am really close with this side of the family so it's like all my friends are coming tomorrow. I love it when we are all together. We are never bored. I have a big family so everyone always seperate themselves in about four groups. The babies almost always are together. The little ones are always together, and there are two groups of the older kids. They all have something to do. I love these kind of weekends. I know that it's going to be time to just relax and have fun with the family. 

    The thing I don't like about weekends is that I know they are only two days. Two days off of school is not enough. School is very tiring. We should have longer breaks. Especially because school is getting harder and harder. Well I'm going to wrap this up now. It's surprising how this post took me longer. I guess I was more distracted than usual.  

 

     

    

 

"A Bad Boy Can Be Good For A Girl" - Part 2

 
    The second part of the story was more interesting to me. This part was about a girl named Nicolette. She is the kind of girl that doesn't believe that the guys are supposed to be asking her out. If she wants something she goes for it. I like her attitude toward things in the beginning. She changes as soon as she starts liking the guy that broke Josie's heart. She thinks she has everything under control. She let him have everything easy. She is very independent. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She would meet him whenever he wanted and that's when she started changing. She did worry about what she wanted but she worried more about what he wanted. 

    I wonder why she gave in so easy? She had been with other guys before so of course she had experience. Was he different than the other guys? Did the other guys just let her take control? Why did she change for him? Other girls tried to let her know what people were saying about her but she just thought they were jealous. She thought that he really liked her because he talked to his friends about her. She really wanted him. She wanted him to treat her like his girlfriend, which wasn't something she worried about with other guys. She wanted his attention.

    They ended up splitting up because he took another girl to some part. When Nicolette found out she was furious. She had never felt this way for a guy. When she confronted him about it he said "We never said we couldn't see other people." During the confrontation she realized that Josie was right and that she should've stayed away from him. I'm not sure if girl's even warn eachother now. They probably just wait for the other girls to get hurt too. Do guys really change girls that much?

High School

High school. This is where you start to be more and more independent. It's where you start to look at your future in a more serious way. A lot of people change during those four years of high school. There is a lot of drama. Relationships start. Things happen.
A lot of people are nice. A lot of people are loud. A lot of people are smart. There are many different groups of people but I wouldn't call them cliques. The groups don't bother each other or say anything but you do notice that people do hang out in groups. A lot of the times you'll see the same people hanging out. I try to talk to a lot of different people but I do hang out with a lot of the same people. If I don't have plans it would be the same people; Evelyn, Sahar, Elmina, Haneen, and the guys.
Things have changed a lot since middle school wich is where I met most of them.
Evelyn. I met her in 7th grade. I don't remember exactly how we started talking but we became very close. When it was time to go to high school we were going to separate. She was going to go to Alameda High and I was going to go to Encinal High. I went to Encinal for half the year and we didn't really talk. When I moved and started going to Alameda High, we started talking again. We've stayed close until now.
Sahar. I knew who she was in middle school but I never talked to her. It wasn't until I moved to Alameda High that we started talking and we became very close. She is one of my closest friends. I tell her almost everything. Hahaha.
Elmina. I didn't really start talking to her until I moved to Alameda High too.
Haneen. I met her in middle school. We talked a little but not much. We talked a lot last year, more than this year.
Another one of my closest friends is Alyssa. I met her in 7th grade and I remember the first day I talked to her. It was so weird. I can say that she didn't really want to talk to me when we first met. That changed. We were really close 7th and 8th grade. When I went to Encinal I still talked to her a lot. When I first came to Alameda High I would hang out with her a lot. Then we wouldn't really hangout much but I still considered her one of my best friends. We hangout more this year and I hope it stays that way.
Yvonne. The first time I talked to her I think it was 8th grade. I had to ask her a really dumb question for one of my friends but we didn't really hangout until last year. We were really close. Almost everyday it was just her and me at lunch. We are still close, we just don't talk as much as before.
Natalie. I met her in 7th grade with Alyssa. At the time her and Alyssa weren't that close yet. I would tell her everything. After she was close with Alyssa we all started to hang out together. When I was at Encinal we just said hi once in a while but we didn't talk much. Last year we didn't talk much either. This year though, we talk a lot. I started telling her everything again.
Hong. I met her in 7th grade. We stopped talking when I went to Encinal but a soon as I moved to Alameda High we started talking again. I don't remember exactly how we met but we got along from the beginning.
Writing this I see why I grew apart from some of my closest friends from middle school. We all changed. I'm glad we are still close though. I think if I had stayed at Encinal High I wouldn't be talking to all these girls who I'm so close to. I wouldn't mind making new friends but I really don't want to lose the friends I already have.

"A Bad Boy Can Be good For A Girl" -Part 1

So the first part of the book was good. It shows how high school and a lot of relationships are. The first part of the book talks about a girl named Josie. Josie is a freshman in high school and is not very experienced with guys. A senior guy comes along and Josie thinks she really likes him and that he really like her. She loves the way he makes her feel. The guy of course was only after one thing and after Josie didn't give it to him he didn't want to be with her anymore. After that happens Josie writes a note in the back of a book in her school library warning all the girls from her school not to mess with that guy.
So I think Josie did right. I don't understand why she got so into him and yet gave him nothing though. Was she trying to prove to herself that he really liked her? She got her feelings hurt and now she knows better. I think a lot of guys are like this guy now a days. You always think they are after one thing and most of the time you're right. Right now I think that all guys are the same and I'll keep thinking that until one guy comes along to prove me wrong. Yes there are still really nice guys out there but they are really hard to find.
I really like Josie's character. I think that she knows what not to do. I know that what she was going to do wasn't really bad but she knew she didn't want it and she knew how to stop it even if it meant that the guy wouldn't like her anymore. She shows how she knows what she wants. I wonder if a year later she was in this situation, what would she do? Wouold she back away? Maybe things went down like this beacause she was really young. I hope that the next part of the book is this interesting.

Thoughts on My 16th Birthday

So my birthday is next Tuesday. I'm turning sixteen witch means I only have two more years to make the biggest decisions of my life. It scares me to think of myself being on my own. Those two years are going to go by really fast and I am going to miss being a kid again. I wonder what my parents are thinking about this. I'm sure they realize that the day is coming. I wonder if they are looking forward to it. I have no idea what to expect. I know they love me but I wonder if they are going to be happy when I'm gone. Of course after I leave they still have my brother and sister to deal with.
I still have no idea what I am going to do after High School. I haven't made up my mind on what I want to study or where I am going to go. I don't want to go to college straight out of High School. I think that I will take a year for myself before I go back to school. My mom doesn't like that idea.I think I want to go out and have fun before starting over again. I know that College is going to be harder if I wait too long but I'm not taking a big break. Just long enough to make myself believe that I'm ready and that I can handle it.

Like I said a big decision to make in two years. I don't know if I will be ready to go when that time comes. I have always been an independent person. I know how to take care of myself. I don't like thinking about this. My cousins don't like the idea of me going anywhere far. I don't want to be far form them either. I want to stay close to my family.
I haven't planned anything to celebrate my birthday. Again I waited to long. It's too late to plan anything big. I don't think I'm even going to celebrate it. I don't know when I will celebrate a birthday like I want. Probably not until I get a job and live on my own. I don't really mind not celebrating my birthday big. As long as I am with my family everything is all good. I love spending time with them. When I'm with them I am never bored. I am always laughing. I am always happy. They make my day.
Update: I have a new little cousin who was born two days ago. I can't wait to see her. I already saw a picture but that doesn't compare to holding her. I don't know when I'll be able to see her though since she lives in San Jose and we never go visit because they always come down here. Hopefully my mom and dad will take me to see her this weekend. It would make me really happy. My cousins aren't too happy about it since the girl doesn't have the same dad as them. The girl's dad is my auntie's current boyfriend who my cousins don't really get along with. Right know they don't want to have anything to do with the new baby girl. I understand that the don't like her dad but it's not the baby's fault. Hopefully later on the realize that what they are thinking is not good. I know that I am going to love that girl even if I dislike her dad. She doesn't deserve any of the blame. I am going to try and convince them to thing the same but I don't know how long it will take.

Language

French Class. The vocabulary is getting harder and harder an I don't feel like I'm learning much. French is easier for me to understand compared to other students in my class. That is because I am already a fluent Spanish speaker. A lot of the vocabulary is similar. I love knowing three languages but I feel that during this year my knowledge of French hasn't developed.
I'm trying really hard to be able to make it to HP French next year. I really liked my French teacher last year. This year I fell that my teacher wastes a lot of time on nothing. This is my third year of French and my second year of high school. I was planning to take French all four years and so far I haven't changed my mind. I want to be fluent in French. If it's necessary, I will take three more years after high school to be good at it. I want to be able to sound like a native French speaker. I want to be able to be as good as I am in English.
I really want to learn more than just French. I want to be able to travel to many countries and be able to communicate with the people there. It would be the greatest thing in the world for me to learn five languages. I would like to learn more than that but I wouldn't want to forget my first languages.
I'm already forgetting Spanish and that is one of the worst feelings. I was born here in the U.S. and my first language was Spanish, but I love speaking french because I love the accent. All my family speaks Spanish and it's weird sometimes because I can't get my thought across. I feel really embarrassed when this happens. I feel like I am loosing a big part of my heritage. I feel like my family doesn't like it either. They know that I speak mostly English at school but of course they wouldn't want me to forget their language.
I would love to be a world translator. I like the thought of being able to talk to people from many other places in the world in their own language. Language is something very interesting to me. So far I have two languages down and I'm working on developing my third one. There will be more to come and that's for sure.
I have friends that speak many different languages and I think it would be cool to talk to them in their original language someday. I think learning many different languages would make me feel like I actually achieved something more important. That is one of my goals. I don't know how many more languages I will learn but I know that I don't want to forget my first one. That one will always be the most important. It won't matter where I live or who I'm married to or what languages my friends speak. I don't want to ever think about not being able to tak to my own family.That would be the worst thing in the world.

My Crisis of Faith

My crisis of faith happened about three years ago when my cousin Tony died. Other people of my family had died before him but none hit me as much as his. It was because I grew up with him. He was only eighteen when he passed away. I was thirteen. I still remember the night he left and never came back. He was at home with his girlfriend Teresa. Some of my cousins and I were playing Uno outside his house when someone came looking for him. The guy was short. He didn't have a shirt on and he had many tattoos. He scared me. He went into my cousin's house and came out with my cousin. I asked my cousin where he was going and he said he was just going to the store. He asked one of my other cousins, his brother, if he wanted to go too. My cousin said yes but he saw that his girlfriend made an angry face to his answer so he stayed. If he had gone then there would've been two deaths in our family. Hours passed and my cousin still hadn't come home. Everyone was worried. It seemed like his girlfriend didn't even care. It was around nine o'clock when my parents said it was time to go home. Some of my cousins and Teresa were outside. Teresa was talking on the phone saying something about a car accident and a hospital. When I heard that I had a really bad feeling. I couldn't sleep. I was so worried. I really had no idea what she was talking about but I had a strong feeling.
The next morning I realized that I had slept but I didn't know how long. I went straight in the shower as soon as I was fully awake. I had only been in the shower for about ten minutes when my mom came in crying telling me to hurry and get out because we needed to go. That hit me. Even though I wasn't sure of what I thought I was scared. I got out very fast and threw my clothes on.
My thoughts were confirmed when we got to my grandma's house. During the ride there nobody talked. I didn't want to ask questions. At my grandma's house everyone was quiet. Everybody was waiting for my grandma to come back from the hospital to tell us what happened. When she came into the house she looked like she was in shock. My mom was sitting on the couch and my grandma sat down next to her and started crying. My mom hugged her and then my grandma said, "Se nos fue nuestro nino Rosa. Nos dejo nuesro nino. Se fue. Se fue." Which means our boy left Rosa. He left us. He left. He left. My grandma was yelling that. Everyone had started crying. My cousin Alejandra was right next to me. Tony, my cousin who got in the accident, was her oldest brother. I tried my best to console her though it was kind of hard because I was also crying. That day was the July 3, 2007. 4Th of July will never again be a happy day for my family.
When that happened a question came into my head. "Why didn't God help him. Why did he let him die?" It was horrible. I started questioning my own belief. If God is good then why did he let people die? Why did he let innocent people suffer? We were good people. Why put us through all this pain? If he has so much power then why doesn't he use it to help us? I was and still am very religious but at that time I didn't know what to think. I started thinking "If he is real then why haven't I seen him or heard him or felt his presence. Why, if he knew what pain it would cause us to lose a family member? Why didn't he stop it?" I didn't know what to believe.
When it was time for the ceremony God was not in my head at all until the Father said that all our family had to go up to the altar to say a prayer. I really didn't want to do it. I just didn't have faith in God anymore. The Father said that the prayer would help my cousins spirit. I didn't want to leave my cousins spirit with God. In the end of the discussion with myself I ended up going up to the altar. It wasn't until the Father said the prayer that I felt safe; he said something like, "He is now with God. In a better place where no more harm will come and that one day we would see him again." That made something happen inside me.
After the Father finished his prayer I went back to sit on a bench with my family. I still had tears in my eyes but I now believed that cousin would be fine. Yes he wouldn't be with us anymore but the thought of meeting with him again reassured me. This is what I learned growing up and I do believe it. Others have different beliefs but I know now that I truly believe this. My crisis of faith lasted a while. It was a time when I didn't understand what kind of world we lived in. I didn't know what to feel, how to act, what to say or what to think. After the ceremony I started to think straight. Yes I still cry myself sometimes thinking about my cousin but I know that it had to happen sometime. I still don't understand why it happened so soon. All I know is that God wanted it that way. I haven't had any more crisis. Now I feel more sure of my beliefs. Yes there will be more moments like this one but I learned that after the sadness comes understanding.
As for the guy who took Tony that day, I never saw him again. He was sent to jail. He tried apologizing to our family but no one wanted to talk to him. We never found out what happened the night of the 3rd of July but we knew that it was caused but the guy with all the tattoos. This is one memory that I will never forget.

Technology

A few years ago I didn't have a phone nor an I-Pod. I was happy. Ididn't feel like it was neccassary to have those things. Well things changed. Now I have both and I can't live without them. I love music and I love talking on the phone.

I can't go a day without listening to my I-Pod. I go to sleep with it too. Things have changed a lot. I didn't have an I-Pod when everyone else had one. I had to wait for one because my parents thought I didn't need one. They ended up getting me one anyway. I know that they didn't regret giving me one because they saw how happy I was.

I got my phone a lot sooner. The only reason why I got a phone was because I was going on to middle school and I would need to be calling my dad to pick me up. If it wasn't for that big change I probably wouldn't have a phone now. At first I got in trouble a lot for wsting too many minutes. Later I got in trouble for not using it enough. I don't know what they epect. This month I'm for sure going to get in trouble. I used up all of my minutes and wasted most of the rollover minutes. The worst they can do is take my phone away but I don't want that to happen.

My mom understands that I'm attached to my things. I know she wouldn't like to take them away but she will do what she thinks she has to do. Even if it makes me unhappy. If ever she did take them away I don't know how I would take it. I wouldn't be able to live without them for long. They are a part of my daily life now.

Valentine's day is coming up. That me...

Valentines day is coming up. That means that my sister's birthday and my cousins birthday is coming up. My sister's birthday is on the 13th and my cousin's is on the 15th. None on valentines day but close. We haven't planned anything for my sister's birthday. That's just the way my family is. We do a lot of our things last minute and I don't like that. I like knowing what's going to happen. I hate being rushed. That's one of the reasons why I didn't want a birthday party last year. My sister is turning eleven and my cousin is turning fourteen.
For my cousin that means one more year until her big celebration. Right now she doesn't know where she wants to have or if she's going to have it at all. Her mom, my aunt, hasn't really talked about the subject and that is not a good thing. I wouldn't want the sane thing that happened to me to happen to her. I want everything for her celebration to be planned and organized. I don't know what I can do for her but I'll find something.
It's scary for me watching my little sister grow up. I know that it is inevitable for her to change but I don't want her to.In two years I'm probably going to be out of my house and I wonder what problems my sister will give my mother. My sister has an attitude. I wouldn't want my mom to have to deal with an even bigger attitude when my sister reaches her teen years. I'm not really worried about my dad because I know he can handle it.I I don't want to think about what kind of person she'll be when I'm gone. If she keeps doing what she's doing nobody will stand her any more.
Well, I love my sister and of course she has a good side. I don't know what I would do without her. I love my cousin too. I don't get to see her as much as I would like to. That's one of the reasons why I want to celebrate her birthday this coming up Sunday along with my sister. I would've liked to celebrate it on Saturday but my parents are going dancing. February is a special month because of all the birthdays. That's why valentines day makes me happy.

Sisters

"If you don't understand how a women could both love her sister dearly and awant to wring her neck at th same time, then you were probably an only child." - Linda Sunshine
I completely agree with this quote. I have a younger sister. I'm five years older than her and we have completely different personalities. I love her. I tell her everything. A lot of my cousins know a lot about what goes on with me but my little sister knows all the details. Sometimes I wonder if I bore her with all my talking. It seems like he likes to listen to me. I like coming home on a bad day and talking to her.
Yes we do have our fights like any other siblings. Our fights are always over something small. I can't be mad at her for too long. When we do fight she doesn't holdback. I think it's because she knows I wouldn't hurt her. Sometimes I just want her to get out of my life, but as soon as that thought comes in my head another thoght follows, "What am I thinking." It scares me to think that one day I will never see her again, or that one day she will never see me again.
I always think about how my relationship is with her. I know that whenever I have problems she is always there even if she can't give me advice on what to do. She is very mature for her age. My brother is only one year younger than me and she is more mature than him. They say that girls mature faster than boys but there is a four year difference between their ages.
As I said before I love my sister. In ten years I still see myself coming to talk to her about my problems. By then I'm pretty sure she's going to have many problems of her own and I'm going to listen and give her advice as she does for me now.

My computer is getting on my nerves.I...

My computer is getting on my nerves.I should say my Internet is getting on my nerves. Everything is blocked. Even blogger is blocked. It say it's unsafe. That's what's on my mind. Another thing that's is on my mind is my dentist appointment tomorrow. My dentist has been telling me that I need braces. I really don't want them. If I get them I will have them until senior year. People tell me that they really hurt. They are also really expensive. I only need braces because of my over bite. I can live with an over bite. People don't even notice my over bite until I tell them.

I'm scared that they will make me look a lot different. My brother and sister also need braces but the dentist said that my case is more urgent. I don't think it's that important. My dad and I agree that I shouldn't get braces. Last time I was at the dentist I saw a pamphlet that said something about your teeth having an effect on child birth. I don't know if that's true or not but it scares me. I'm not getting braces because of that pamphlet though. They said I would need them for three years and I would have to wear a retainer every night for the rest of my life.

I also have a baby shower to go to. It's my mom's older sister's baby shower. After fourteen years she is having another baby. I don't think it's going to be easy for her to raise another child. She's not so young anymore. I can't say I hate the father of that child but I very much dislike him. I guess I have to accept that he helped my auntie give me another cousin but there is not much good to say about him. He is not the real father of any of my other cousins. He is just my auntie's boyfriend. I don't like the way he treats my cousins that have to live with him. When he comes down to visit he tries to at all nice but my cousins tell me everything.

Other than those few things everything is pretty much the same.

I had never really thought about blog...

I had never really thought about blogging. Now that Mr.Sutherland introduced it to me I liked it. I enjoy it. I like that I reflect a lot on what I think about. It has not been hard to find a topic to write about every week. I don't think I will stop blogging after this school year is over. I probably won't do it as often but I will still do it.
It's very interesting to me to see what people write about. I like to see what people think about.Usually people who blog write about stuff that they wouldn't normally tell people. I like it. I know I write about stuff that wouldn't normally come up in a casual conversation.Maybe after this school year is over I'll have more interesting things to write about. I want to know where this experience goes.
I have never been much of a writer. Writing was something that I have always had trouble with. Blogging has showed me that I have improved as a writer. I find it easier to get my point across. I guess it was just the topics that gave me trouble. Before, the words to explain myself just never came to me. Throughout my blog I noticed that ideas came to me faster. Before, I would get stuck all the time, such as when I was writing this post. It's still hard sometimes but I'm getting used to it. Hopefully it gets easier as I go along. My vocabulary has expanded and I think of that as a skill that can help me throughout the rest of my life.

I like that blog posts are due every week. I usually write about what has happened between my last blog post and the one the that I would be writing at the moment. I find current events about my life easier to write about. I love reflecting too. I like looking back on the good times. Earlier I wrote about memories, which I love thinking about. They say You can't know where you're going until you know where you've been. I'm not completely sure about that yet, but I do know that what I have been through in the past has made me who I am today.

Blogging has been a way to let out what I have been thinking about. It can be a place to write about my troubles though I don't like putting my troubles out there. Blogging has also been a way to figure out what I truly care about. My blog has shown that my first priority is my family. Blogging has helped me understand myself more as a person.

Blogging has not changed how I think but it has changed the way that I write. I find writing a lot easier. I correct my mistakes. I go back and try to make whatever I am working on as good as I can. I has definitely changed the way I think about writing. I used to think that writers had the most difficult job, but now I see that it was only in my head. It is very easy to write make believe things, or memoirs, or any kind of true story. The only way writing can be hard is when you are given rules about what to put in, what to leave out, or any other boundaries.
I get my ideas for blogging from any current events in my life. I write about whatever is on my mind at that moment. My inspiration comes mostly from my family. Sometimes it's not directly about them. Sometimes It's about something that I know they would be upset about, something that would make them happyor something that directly involves them. I think Family is the most important part of my life. They are a big part of my blog even if they don't know it. Most of my blog posts are just updates. They can be updates of my schoolwork, myself, or family. I had never really thought about where my inspiration comes from. I guess I was just blogging for a grade. It's sometimes a hard question to answer. Even though I already said that my inspiration comes from family it might not be the full answer. Now this question has got me thinking. Maybe my inspiration comes from something else. Maybe it's because I know that I have to do it for a grade. The ideas for my blog just come to me. Whatever I am thinking about at that moment, that is what I write about. When we are in the lab and my friends and I are talking, they give me ideas also. Sometimes we write about the same things. I wonder where they get their inspiration from. Blogging has opened up my mind to new ideas. I wrote a blog about the future and where we are going now. I have never talked about that topic to anybody. It just doesn't come up in conversation. I think about things like that all the time but I don't talk about it. Ideas don't always come naturally to me. Sometimes I just sit there and look at a blank page for a while until I find a topic that I think I can finish my assignment with.

It's not always so difficult to find your inspiration. I know what part of my inspiration is but I still have to find out where the other part comes from. I will keep blogging for the rest of this year, not only because it's for my grade but because I enjoy doing it. I think it will be fun to see how many people blog after the year is over. I wonder if anybody will keep blogging even after high school. I think I will have a lot more interesting things ti talk about when I'm out of high school. I think that's when I will be able to do whatever I want and start a life on my own. That will be inspiration enough to keep blogging. I think I will keep my word and continue blogging. I would definitely recommend it for some one who wants to get to know themselves more, someone who wants to put their ideas out there, or someone who has nothing else to do but say what's on their mind. Right now my goal is to continue blogging for a grade but I'm sure that my goal will change at the end of the year. I will continue blogging because I enjoy it.

New. There has been a lot of new thin...

New. There has been a lot of new things going on since my last post.
I have a new cousin. His name is Cesar Octavio. He is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. A lot of babies look ugly to me when they are first born but not this one. I have a feeling he is just going to get cuter too. I don't think his face is going to change much. My parents say that he looks a lot like one of his older sisters when she was a baby.
Another thing new is that my auntie, my cousin, and my great grandma are back from Mexico. My auntie and my cousin have only been gone for two months but I had not seen my great grandma in two years. I really missed all of them. Things seem a lot different in my grandma's house since they came back. Everybody seems a lot happier and it seems like they are always in a good mood. Hopefully the joy goes on for a while. The baby has really brought joy to the whole family. We had not had a baby in the family for about two years and everybody was excited for that. When I found out that my auntie was pregnant I was really excited but the feeling is different now that she had it. I'm just really happy. My uncle is really happy too. It is his first boy. After three girls finally a boy.
Everyone is so happy that my great grandmother is back. My grandma made some calls and in a few hours there is a crowd of people at my grandma's house to see my great grandmother. It is an interesting experience to say hello to so many people that you have never met before and find out that you are somehow related to them. That is what happened last Sunday. Next week there are going to be more visitors but I actually know these. My grandma's sister is coming from Fresno, my auntie is coming from San Jose, and another auntie is coming from Vacaville. It's going to be fun. All my cousins from my moms side are going to be there. I can't wait.
I love times like this when you know for sure that everyone in the family has a reason to be happy.